Yesterday I did a free taster session for British Military
Fitness. Doing push-ups and crunches in the mud on Wormwood scrubs, in
torrential rain, may not be everybody’s idea of fun. And it wasn’t mine either.
I saw my mistake almost immediately. Balance has never been
my strong suit – I once broke my foot standing still on a pavement; I can turn
an ankle just by looking at it. Running across scrubland in the dark seemed
reckless for ankles as delicate as mine. Everybody else was sprinting, while I
gingerly picked my way across the boggy ground.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. There’s nothing like a
series of jumps and squats to remind you that you’ve hardly done a pelvic floor
exercise in nine months. “WHY AREN’T YOU DOING YOUR STAR JUMPS NUMBER 30?” shouted
the instructor. I had to take him aside and explain a few postnatal facts to
him. But by then the damage was done. Luckily the driving rain covered up the
fact that my pelvic floor had abandoned ship. Imagine if I’d been in an
aerobics studio! The shame! My main concern was that he’d ask us to leap frog –
that might have been unpleasant.
But I couldn’t help coming round to BMF. Surely this is the
perfect exercise class for new mums? During the cool down I surveyed my
exercising comrades, standing in a dark field, covered in mud, soaked to the
bone, who’s going to notice a wobbly tummy and a bit of wee? No one!
So today I’ll be stocking up on Tena Ladies and signing up
for my next session. And doing a few pelvic floor exercises….
