Baby fat

The best thing about being pregnant was that I was supposed to have a big tummy – my stomach was something to be proud of at last. Instead of saggy skin left over from years of dieting, I now had a taut tum full of baby, rather than brownies.

Those days have gone however, and now, seven months after giving birth, the stomach remains, but without the prenatal glow. I in fact weigh exactly the same as I did when I left the hospital. How can that be?

I remember watching an episode of

TFI Friday once where Victoria Beckham revealed that she would be breast-feeding as it helped you lose weight. That was that decided then – if I ever had kids, I would breast-feed. I’d like to say my decision was based solely on the health benefits, but the reasons were in fact:

1.   Lose weight

2.   Legitimately stay off work

3.   No sterilising

4.   Health benefits

5.   Boycott Nestle

In that order.

So I’m sure you can appreciate my dismay that breast-feeding does not, in fact, help you lose weight. What it actually seems to do is make you want to eat more cake. I feel rather cheated.

Yes I’ve enjoyed those big eyes looking up at me lovingly as he feeds, tiny fingers stroking my cheek, prodding my teeth, yanking my hair, tiny nails scratching my nose, tiny teeth clamping down on my nipple… But I would enjoy it all so much more with a flat stomach you see.

The reality is I need to do something about it – but I’m just so lazy, and so greedy, and so prone to making excuses, that it’s tricky.

I first lost weight after the man in KFC refused to serve me, he felt I’d had enough. I was mortified, I went home and cried and cried – but he was absolutely right. I started running and dieting the next day and over the next couple of years lost five stone. I’ve not set foot in a KFC since.

But now my fast food habit is a thing of the past, how can I get the tearooms and cafes of the North West to do the same? I need to be totally cut off from my supply of home made cakes, afternoon teas and sausage rolls.

Until then I guess the only answer is to try and encourage O to consume more milk, to at least keep me on a level...