Labour of love

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have entered full labour day preparation mode.

I've watched 22 episodes of 'One born every minute'. With an average of 3 births per episode, that's 66 hair raising labours i've sat through - nails bitten back to knuckles.

I've been practising bouncing about on my birthing ball, breathing deeply and squeezing my bits in (sometimes all three at once - whilst watching Sherlock). I am having a bit of a problem remembering to do my pelvic floor exercises enough though. People keep advising me to do them every time I stop at a red signal or clean my teeth - well those are both fine ideas, but
they still depend on me stopping at a red signal or applying toothpaste to toothbrush and remembering to do them - and that's where that idea falls down. You shouldn't really ask pregnant women to remember things - it's unfair.

I've been attending aquanatal, yoga and pilates classes for serious body prep; along with antenatal classes for serious mind/husband prep. For our next antenatal class we need to take bubbles and massage oil - I dread to think what's she's going to have us doing. After that I need to take along a doll for practising on. I've been searching for a really freaky looking doll - one with a permanently droopy eyelid or an evil looking face or something. If I was in the UK I could guarantee finding such a thing in any charity shop, but out here they don't really have charity shops.

I have just about finished packing my hospital bag. I've got juice cartons and snacks, clothes for me, clothes for the baby, toiletries, slippers, dressing gown, PJs... Problem is that many of those items are still in daily use - plus I often get hungry and have to eat the snacks  - so I have to unpack it and repack it on a very regular basis.

So i'm nearly ready - but what about the boy? I had thought he was cooking very nicely indeed, but i've had so many comments about how small my bump is, i'm starting to get a bit paranoid. I'm worried he's going to be a tiny midge.

However, I think the reality is that I have a normal sized boy, struggling to make an impact in my extremely ample abdomen. I've always had a long torso, child bearing hips and a generous stomach, I suspect that even at nearly 8 months he's rattling around in there like a ball bearing in a bucket.

But then, what am I complaining about anyway? I've seen those big babies being delivered on 'One born every minute' - it's not pretty. My mother tells me I was born weighing 8lbs 12oz - which seems unnecessarily large. Maybe a smallish baby would be just the ticket?